Jesus would probably buy a zippo lighter, a 5 gallon gas can (so as to be proper in his transportation efforts) and, at $2.89 a gallon x5, $14.45 worth of gas. He would then locate the zippo factory and burn it to the ground. Then he would more than likely travel for 4 days and 3 nights in order to locate the bastards from Shell, who claimed responsibility for supplying him with the opportunity to buy gas. After trying to reason with them, he would instinctually set them a flame as well(so as to end the possibility of the evil bastards breading any further generations), shouting "If its sacrifice you want, well then who's who" (belligerant, I know, but what else would the "Son of God" shout after lighting people on fire?). Then maybe he'd design a smiley face out of his remaining gasoline, in the middle of a grassy meadow, setting it aflame in a calming, equally entertaining fashion. Slowly he would drift to sleep with drops of dew and grass embracing his cold body..........succombing to tiredness and softly light moonlight; the sun just beginning to peak over the distant hills, which seem to roll like waves in the receeding sea of fog......... He would awake 10 hours later with sun poisoning on the exposed right side of his body, seeing that he found slumber while laying upon his left side. He would then surely take note of the fact that he doesn't roll in his sleep when completley exhausted. A very important learning experience indeed!! Aloe plants make good friends.
Jesus would probably buy a zippo lighter, a 5 gallon gas can (so as to be proper in his transportation efforts) and, at $2.89 a gallon x5, $14.45 worth of gas. He would then locate the zippo factory and burn it to the ground. Then he would more than likely travel for 4 days and 3 nights in order to locate the bastards from Shell, who claimed responsibility for supplying him with the opportunity to buy gas. After trying to reason with them, he would instinctually set them a flame as well(so as to end the possibility of the evil bastards breading any further generations), shouting "If its sacrifice you want, well then who's who" (belligerant, I know, but what else would the "Son of God" shout after lighting people on fire?). Then maybe he'd design a smiley face out of his remaining gasoline, in the middle of a grassy meadow, setting it aflame in a calming, equally entertaining fashion. Slowly he would drift to sleep with drops of dew and grass embracing his cold body..........succombing to tiredness and softly light moonlight; the sun just beginning to peak over the distant hills, which seem to roll like waves in the receeding sea of fog......... He would awake 10 hours later with sun poisoning on the exposed right side of his body, seeing that he found slumber while laying upon his left side. He would then surely take note of the fact that he doesn't roll in his sleep when completley exhausted. A very important learning experience indeed!! Aloe plants make good friends.
ReplyDeletewow. what a fervently written comment.
ReplyDeletei do think its cool that Jesus doesn't roll in His sleep...such a human flaw...
ReplyDelete